One thing among many things that keeps my scattered brain occupied is music. I could discover new music for hours. I don't have to pretend to be anyone else when I'm listening to something new to me, but old to the rest of the world. New sounds tickle my heart and make me feel as if I am complete. It's as if God is whispering in my ear, "I love you" a hundred times. Some of the music that I love the most is indie and singer/songwriter. I've been going through an Ingrid Michealson phase this week. Her new song "Parachute" has been stuck in my head and won't stop playing.
"Sort of" is one of those songs that you hear and it immediately speaks to you or defines perfectly some of the feelings you have been keeping inside. It makes it easier to express those feelings because you can just get lost in the song.
I think if I ever get around to writing songs, my style would be similar to hers. That or I'd attempt to write/sing like her. I'd have to get voice lessons first. Drat.
My favorite collaboration with Ingrid Michealson would be "Winter Song" with Sara Bareilles. I love Sara too, but Ingrid's style speaks louder.
Well, I've put off going to bed long enough. Goodnight.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Stream of Consciousness
Do you ever feel lonely even when surrounded by people? Well, I felt that way today. I feel that way now, but I'm not in a crowded room. I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm off today. :P Not my favorite thing to be, but I don't really feel like figuring out exactly what's wrong. These kinds of moods make me rather pensive though.
I think about the future. Even though it seems pretty planned out, I am still unsure of it. I find myself thinking more and more about the summer and fall, how different things will be, how new and cold at first. I shall feel very lonely at first, I know it. I haven't had to move away from a place I loved in 11 years. That's a long time. I'm pretty set as far as friendships go. Especially since the best ones have only recently developed in the past year or two.
But, then again, I will be glad to move away from a place that reminds me so much of a painful-ish past. I say painful-ish because my life hasn't been that hard. Life is only as hard as we make it out to be. It all depends on our outlook.
Oh, I get so lonely sometimes. Not the kind of loneliness that comes with lack of social interaction. No, it is a different sort of loneliness. I am trying very hard to be patient, trying to be open-minded, trying to be... less lonely.
I'm not as intelligent as some may think. I struggle with the same thing everyone else does, sin. Oh, sin is nasty! Ruins everything. My mood, my behavior, my interactions with others. It's stupid. Grrr.
Yet, that is part of the reason why living is so wonderful. Sin cannot ruin the destination of my soul. No matter how great it is, I shall still see my Savior one happy day.
I have taken to writing song lyrics recently. Personally, I have no idea how I can come up with such corny stuff, but I figure that the more I do it, the better it will become. It doesn't always just roll off my fingertips onto whatever medium I choose to record it. I should very much like to be able to write song lyrics like U2 does.
Ya know, she was right. Writing helps you organize thought. And once you have written out all the thoughts in your head, you can think newer, happier ones.
I should do this more often.
I think about the future. Even though it seems pretty planned out, I am still unsure of it. I find myself thinking more and more about the summer and fall, how different things will be, how new and cold at first. I shall feel very lonely at first, I know it. I haven't had to move away from a place I loved in 11 years. That's a long time. I'm pretty set as far as friendships go. Especially since the best ones have only recently developed in the past year or two.
But, then again, I will be glad to move away from a place that reminds me so much of a painful-ish past. I say painful-ish because my life hasn't been that hard. Life is only as hard as we make it out to be. It all depends on our outlook.
Oh, I get so lonely sometimes. Not the kind of loneliness that comes with lack of social interaction. No, it is a different sort of loneliness. I am trying very hard to be patient, trying to be open-minded, trying to be... less lonely.
I'm not as intelligent as some may think. I struggle with the same thing everyone else does, sin. Oh, sin is nasty! Ruins everything. My mood, my behavior, my interactions with others. It's stupid. Grrr.
Yet, that is part of the reason why living is so wonderful. Sin cannot ruin the destination of my soul. No matter how great it is, I shall still see my Savior one happy day.
I have taken to writing song lyrics recently. Personally, I have no idea how I can come up with such corny stuff, but I figure that the more I do it, the better it will become. It doesn't always just roll off my fingertips onto whatever medium I choose to record it. I should very much like to be able to write song lyrics like U2 does.
Ya know, she was right. Writing helps you organize thought. And once you have written out all the thoughts in your head, you can think newer, happier ones.
I should do this more often.
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